Permission to be Ourselves

With the New Year comes New Beginnings. We always use this time of year to make resolutions, changes, and commitments to ourselves, our health, and others. I’ve never really ‘bought into’ this notion that it takes a specific date, such as January 1st, to allow for modifications to take place. Maybe it’s because my life is in a constant state of change and evolution or maybe it’s because the concept of date & time are losing their sense of importance for me.

The ending of 2018 and, so far, the start of 2019 has been spent in quiet, reflection & appreciation for the current status of my life. I’m enjoying time with my family and the seamless balance into my working life. I am in utter amazement as I enter my 30th year of life at what I have created in front of me. I wouldn’t have this immense awareness of the beauty I am surrounded by without permission.

Permission to be happy, sad, indifferent, overzealous, anxious, sick, funny, sarcastic, rude, sensitive, masculine, feminine, angry, emotional, perfect, almost perfect, not even close to perfect…ALL THE THINGS.

Whether we are conscious of it or not, our daily actions are affected by this concept of permission. And it starts from the day we are born…

Think about babies & children. Most parents & adults try to control when & how you sleep, eat, play, behave. We grow up in a culture of distorted right & wrong based on the perceptions of a ‘societial norm’. Well, I can tell you as someone who has never felt like I belonged in that norm, it’s very uncomfortable, especially as a young child. No one ever made me feel like I had permission to be myself. I didn’t feel safe to me ME!

Conformity only goes so far until it breaks a person down to rubble…but like the Phoenix that rises from the ashes, some of us are able to break free from this imaginary box we place ourselves in. Once on the outside though, it’s almost as isolating. There is a sense of relief & expansion but yet an underlying fear because it’s uncomfortable to ‘not fit in’.

You’ve let go of your security blanket. You may see others who have embraced this seemingly ‘radical’ idea of individuality but there is disconnect because as you are on your own path, you realize they are on theirs…It’s like waving to your neighbor when you get the mail but realizing in the 10 years you’ve lived next door you actually have never stepped foot in their house.
You’ve fought so hard to be heard, seen, and felt as an individual but all of a sudden it seems as if not one cares…and that’s the beauty.

“And then there is the most dangerous risk of all – the risk of spending your life not doing what you want on the bet you can buy yourself the freedom to do it later.” – Randy Komisar

Overcoming the urgency & demand to be important or valued has been such a learning curve for me. It’s ME who needs to respect and honor ME above all else. Once I accomplish that, I see the reflection among those surrounding me.

Give yourself permission to be, act, & do things that bring you joy (Thanks, Marie Kondo!). When life becomes balanced and you act in a harmonious way, joy will be all you ever see. No time better than the present!