Finding your Spirituality while Remaining Human

Many people who start on their “enlightenment” journey at some point feel the pull to become spiritual 100% of the time. There is often this separation between who they are in the physical (ego) and who they are spiritually (consciousness). When you have an “ego” moment – you know, when you’re all in your feels and maybe behaving unreasonably for the situation at hand…”Extra” comes to mind – they often will try to quickly pull you back into a spiritual mindset.

But life does not have to be one or the other! You don’t need to choose between the pleasures of 3D (Alcohol, fast food, the Kardashians, or for me, Celebrity Big Brother) and 5D (whole foods, daily meditation, balancing chakras, unblocking meridians, etc.). There is a shift as a collective to evolve into a higher consciousness. And I agree that it is needed…but for those of us who feel emotionally torn to just disregard society’s offerings because they are worldly & we’re suppose to be above it all…it’s okay. It’s perfectly fine to create a balance in your life that, as Marie Kondo would say, “bring you joy”! It’s also okay to stop participating in earthly activities that once made you happy so you can embrace a healthier, holistic lifestyle. First step is awareness.

Just as the cycle of life and each year have seasons, so do our daily lives. Some days there is more emphasis on the spiritual aspects of this existence. And some days it’s about the physical…sometimes its a little of both!! Like yesterday, I was working on content for a project and could not express it in a heartfelt way so I paused to do a Sanskrit mantra meditation to open my heart chakra. I was working on a earthly thing but used a holistic, spiritual tool to enhance the physical process.

I made another post that touched on the notion of ego and how it benefits & enriches our life when not viewed as separate from ourselves. And I cant stress this enough. Love & respect EVERY aspect of yourself, not just the parts that appear to be more advanced or spiritual. Because under those facades is a physical experience that helped shaped them. Without our Earthly emotions we are not able to transcend into 5D reality…because those vibrations also exist in all other dimensions so might as well embrace and integrate the things that make us uniquely human right now!

All this to say, don’t beat yourself up if you find living a conscious lifestyle 24/7 difficult. And don’t apologize for having moments of “human-ness”…when you judge yourself less, you automatically start judging other less. You recognize they are just being human in a moment you may be experiencing more spiritually, or vice-versa. Having that awareness is life changing. So get out there & let your ego or consciousness shine!


Life Explained

When you start down the road of awakening, the core question that often comes up for people is “Who am I, really?”. The basic response is: a physical manifestation and representation of pure energy. But what does that actually mean?


All living, organic things consist of energy. Science has proven that energy cannot be created or destroyed, only influenced to transformed into various forms. But still, what makes us “us”? Think of your spirit, soul, inner awareness, etc. as your personalized blueprint (or should I say fingerprint) for this lifetime or existence. See, it does not matter if you believe in reincarnation or not. All you have to understand is that 1. You are a physical being and 2. you are currently living….Let’s dive a little deeper…


Like a fingerprint or snow flake, not two person’s soul energy is the same. Some can be very similar and appear alike but at the core, they are not…Here is my take:
Imagine heaven, universal consciousness, space, the ethers (whatever you want to call where we possibly “were” before birth and where we potentially return when we’ve depleted our earthly body) as a combination of all frequencies, vibrations, and examples of pure energy. When a soul, or anything living, decides to physically manifest, a particular bundle of the energy forms to create that individual’s personality, characteristics, and life purpose. It comes through to experience and live their life…TADA! Here we currently are….either living in alignment with who we are at a soul level, or not…but ultimately the choice has always been yours.


Look at nature. Animals & plants behave solely on instinct and care not what other think of them or limit themselves due to perceived expectations. We are the only species on the planet that live out of alignment of our natural self. It also means that we have unlimited potential if we understand & harness the power of this life.

Photo courtesy of Tish Edgerton from Optical Awakenings. https://opticalawakenings.weebly.com

Let’s talk about reincarnation for a bit – if this is not for you, continue at the next paragraph – When we exit our physical body our spirit then rejoins the collective pool of pure energy. It does not stay connected as a whole…it expands and joins the path of least resistance within the universal energies. When another soul is manifesting, there may be traits or attributes that are similar to a previous life but there will be new components to make for new understandings & experiences in the newest incarnation….make sense?


Ego. Another component to our evolution and understanding which I believe to be a good thing. Most new age believers have ganged up on the notion of ego. Labeling it as bad, or detrimental to spiritual growth. I, on the other hand, use ego as a tool to understand who I am at a core level and who I am on a superficial level…because it’s all “me”. There is not separation on how I was created and to accept who I am means to love & accept ALL components of myself.


Photo courtesy of Tish Edgerton from Optical Awakenings. https://opticalawakenings.weebly.com

The relationship between ego and our spirit is anything but equal. Our ego tends to take over & run the show. But once you understand the inner awareness you contain, the balance between the two becomes much more symbiotic. How can you tell the difference between the two aspects of ourselves?


At it’s core, our soul is filled with unconditional love, subtle but intense energy. It harbors the capacity for health and longevity. Our ego is often irrational, spontaneous, and convincing. If you’ve ever found yourself trying to justify your actions to yourself – that’s your ego. Your ego can be used as a buffer to prevent trauma from reaching the vulnerable parts of your soul. Just having an awareness of these aspects, you’ll begin to see working together or in contrast to one another.


If any of this resonates with you, or if it doesn’t, I’d love to hear. Growth happens on the other side of discomfort so let’s have a conversation with your take on what is life! More people are awakening to their true inner knowings and I value each & everyone’s truth💜


Birth: Alternative Point of View

This day and age, most people worry about the comfort of a laboring women. I’m here to bring awareness to the other side of birth…That of the children being born & the magical connection to the mother.

As I often reiterate, birth is commonly NOT a medical event. It is a normal, physiological occurrence as well as a spiritual journey in a female’s life. The more time we spend fussing about scientific ways to make birth “easier” and interfering with the women’s natural instinct, the more disconnected we become as a species.

What do I mean by that?

Women have the incredible capability to transcend their bodies & minds to spiritually receive the soul of their newborn. But with all the chaos and distractions that western medicine will have you believe “helps”, it actually inhibits a women’s journey through pregnancy and childbirth.

Most little one’s souls just want recognition prior to coming Earth-side. The confirmation that the parents (especially the mother) welcome and trust the process is often all that’s needed to have a quick, simple, and non-traumatic birth. OB-GYNs & certain Midwives are trained to identify and treat problems within the birthing process and therefore inhibit the innate TRUST of a women’s ability to give the birth. And because birth has so many variations of normal, anything outside of the formal training of the doctors poses a threat to their practice. But it may be just the perfect way for the baby to enter this physical plane.

By creating doubt and disconnect during the birthing process, it is also creating  emotional and spiritual trauma for baby…and potentially mother. As a birth keeper for ancestral knowledge,  I can not sit by and watch the harm take place any longer. Our children are suffering, we as women are suffering, and humanity is suffering. We can do better to support women during the most powerful and vulnerable time in their lives and it’s by simply allowing them autonomy over their birth. Respecting their decisions and fully trusting in the harmonious communication between mother & baby to successfully birth in a way that fulfills them.

I’m Tired.

2017

I’m tired of being tired.

I’m tired of not feeling heard.

I’m tired of limiting confidence.

I’m tired of relinquishing my power.

I’m tired of having to justify and explain my actions.

I’m tired of sacrificing joy.

I’m tired of oppression.

I’m tired of disrespect.

I’m tired of inequality.

I’m tired of feeling stress, anxious, or depressed.

Last year was the calm before the storm. It was the quiet space I needed to reflect on what’s important in this lifetime.

Growth only happens after a dormant time. We are always changing, shifting, moving. Evolution is knocking at the door and we must answer or be taken up in the tornado along with the falling matrix. Old mindsets serve only the past. Healing our karmic and ancestral wounds will allow humanity to rise again. Step into the present and declare yourself a warrior.

2018

I will fight to sustain my energy.

I will fight to be heard.

I will fight to gain confidence.

I will fight to increase my power.

I will fight to act in accordance to how I want to act.

I will fight to have joy.

I will fight for freedom.

I will fight to honor others.

I will fight to maintain balance.

I will fight to feel happier, healthier, and hopeful.

Christmas…It’s all about Birth!

So if you’ve read my other posts you’ll realize birth and spirituality are my jam…this past week those two worlds were celebrated simultaneously and that was AWESOME. Christmas has always been my favorite Holiday, not because of gifts, but because of the love and wonder surrounding it. This year though I really began to think about what Jesus’ birth was really like…

1. It was unassisted. Mary had to use her own instincts to birth the soul that Christians follow today. No doctor, no midwife, no pain medications or medical interventions…

2. Unsanitary conditions. I mean what is more dirty than a barn?

3. Afterwards she rested…the Magi/Wise-men didn’t come until sometime after 40 days. Mary’s main focus during Jesus’ first months of life would have been recovering, establishing breastfeeding, and NOT entertaining or parading her infant about.

The first two points really contradict how our current society views childbirth. There is so much fear surrounding birth and all the things that could go wrong. Where I live in the Midwest, home births are not as common as hospital births. Unassisted births would likely raise more than a few eyebrows…how or where a woman chooses to labor & birth should not be controversial or questioned.

When a woman is provided the space to intuitively give birth, she will know when something isn’t right…even if it’s her first labor. If in a medical environment, women can relinquish their power because “the doctors know better”. However, sometimes they don’t and it’s the mother who has to live with the emotional and spiritual consequences. The medical community has not yet connected the relation of postpartum depression to labor/birth disappointment (if you will). Up to 20% of moms experience post part I’m depression in the US and despite being a developed country we have the highest maternal mortality rate…this can’t be a coincidence. When you take a natural occurring event and try to schedule, manage, or intervene it only causes more issues and can be more fatal than letting it run it’s course.

The third point also reflects how skewed our culture is when it comes to postpartum care for women. If you give birth at a hospital, your stay is generally a few days and then you’re sent home. The first follow up is by your OB, 6 weeks after giving birth…uh what? Some women are blessed to have supportive family that help with the housework, let the mother rest, and cook meals. But in reality the majority of women are left to adjust to motherhood, alone. Not only that but if she is a working mother, she may have to return to work within the first month of giving birth just to pay the bills. That makes breastfeeding nearly impossible and can cause her even more emotional and financial stress.

If you still believe that our current birth & postpartum system isn’t broken, then watch out for 2018. Changes are happening and people are realizing they want to live happier, healthier, and hopeful.

Intention, Manifestation & Motherhood.

I have been working on three drafts about intention and manifestation but none of them have felt complete. I realized yesterday that the reason was due to lack of personalization. It was just regurgitated words I have read throughout my journey which are completely applicable but not always relatable. So, with very little editing (as always), here is a compilation of some overstated tidbits mixed with a little reality…

Have you ever met someone who attracts anything they want? It’s almost as if life is magically opening for them while others can’t seem to get the child proof lid off.

Would you believe that anyone can attain that level of manifestation in their own life?! For some it will unfold easily…For others it will take a lot of work & persistence. The roads are never the same and there may be some ‘ugly’ to break through but it’s worth it.

“Love the life you have while you create the life of your dreams.” – Hal Elrod

Energy can not be created or destroyed. It can’t be manipulated and influenced…it is neutral…what gives it a positive or negative vibe is perception. Thought has been scientifically proven to be an energetic process. So when we perceive positively, the same will be brought to us. It’s more than just thinking, however, it must also be a belief that you deserve these good things to happen.

“What you think, you become. What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you create.” -Buddha

Personally, I am naturally positive and manifest things very easily. That’s how I knew my pregnancy and labor would be pleasant…but what else led me to that assumption? Conversations. By talking with my mom, sister, and even my mother-in-law, I shaped my perception of birth around their experiences. Their recollection of their experiences, while all unique, had a similar message.

Empowerment.

By sharing their truths about their experiences, they could confidently inform me of the good, the bad, and the ugly. It was very relieving to be supported by such strong and determined women but I realize that’s not the norm in our western culture. There is so much fear and uncertainty and women have stopped sharing their knowledge.

In most of the mom’s groups I follow on Facebook there are posts, almost daily, about “my sister said I would be stupid not to get an epidural” or “my mom said her labor with me was by far the worst in comparison to my siblings”. In most cases the post is flooded with positive affirmations and encouragement but the damage is already done. That expecting woman already has a string of belief that her labor will be unimaginably painful and difficult because the belief of people closest to us hold more weight than strangers.

While some women have the mental capacity to break through patterns of negative self-talk many can not, especially while child bearing and child rearing. That’s not to say we shouldn’t alter our experiences or sugar coat what to expect but rather change the tone of conversations from accusations and blame to ones of non judgement and celebration.

“Imagine what might happen if women emerged from their labor beds with a renewed sense of strength and power of their bodies, and of their capacity for ecstasy through giving birth.” -Dr. Christiane Northrup

When women step into the role of mother, a sisterhood forms. It’s a bond like no other. We should be embracing each other instead of undermining our self-worth. We are brave, strong, feminine, and most of all happy, healthy, and hopeful.

All Hallows' Eve Channel

So I skipped my posting last week because of many physical ailments (migraines, sinus, cough, etc.) Which ended up being a clearing for the crazy channels I’ve been able to receive right around Halloween. Since the veil is at the thinnest it allows for spirit/God/Higher self to more easily communicate with us on the physical plane. There has been a lot of confusion, not just for me, but universally recently and the clarity received it astounding. Here are some excerpts of the channels I’ve had…

October 31st, 2017

As you’ve know for a while the veil is lifting. Evolutionary step for human-kind is to step into our dimension. Join us. So much preparation being done. You’re getting tired, burnt out, unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Do not despair. Others are rapidly joining to share the burden. Just keep swimming. We’re just as exhausted as you. Have faith and this will NOT fail. It’s long over due.

“What else can we do?”

Go out. Be seen. Be heard. Spread your truths. Don’t only surround yourself with like minded souls. Yes, it’s comfortable but limits growth. Be open minded. Try new things. Speak in a way that you don’t recognize. Change verbiage to meet the recipient. Don’t hold back. Make waves. SHOUT!

“Is there a deadline or timeline?”

When & how is on us. Meet each encounter, exchange, and moment with your best intentions. Lose assumptions. Focus on the healing of the Earth and all other aspects will fall into place. Lots of healing left to be done. BALANCE!

It’s blind faith in God that makes this movement stronger. Do not question, have unfaltering belief in the wonders and powers that awaits each soul on the other side. There is no “death” only a continuation and elevation of existence. TRUST.
Good stuff…And so much more is available if we just listen with our new “self”. The concept of a veil dividing realms is maybe not what we assumed it to be. A recent discussion with a friend offered an alternative insight to how I view the other side. What if the “thinning of the veil” has nothing to do with specific dates or time but more to do with the amount of people’s belief. Some people learn that their belief in Santa is what helps make his sleigh fly (Thanks “elf”). What if it’s the same for the veil? Is it “thinner” on All Hallows’ Eve, All Saints Day, and All Souls Day because we BELIEVE it is? Is it within our capacity to do away with it all together…something to chew on. 

Thanks for reading and hopefully this message finds you happier, healthier, and hopeful!

Healing Birth Trauma

As a doula, I have often heard the saying “I love my baby. But I don’t love how they got here.” No new mother needs that regret, disappointment, or heartbreak on her plate. But how can we mend this? It begin with us. Every being has the capacity and inner knowledge to start the healing process.

Unfortunately there is no magical way to dictate how any pregnancy or birth will progress. But what if there was a way to a change the memory of the events that actually unfolded. Or rather the emotion behind the memory. The repair can start immediately following, or even before, the trauma instead of being stored within our cellular memories only to cause chaos later on in a persons life. Everything we experience is correlated and not by random chance. The situations we face today impact our perceptions of future events and therefore places our lives on habitual paths. 

For a woman going through a traumatic birth experience we can empathize. However, because she is able to cognitively recollect and verbalized her emotions we tend to forget that it is just as traumatic (if not more so) for the newborn. These ripples of fear, shock, and pain settle into our bodies from the start. 

What do I mean by trauma…it’s not solely about physical pain or difficulties. It includes all aspects of human existence. There can be emotional blocks that stall the progress of labor which then can lead to other interventions causing physical trauma like Pitocin, epidural, forceps/vacuum, cesarean, etc. But can’t spiritual blocks also inhibit the perception of birth? If a woman is unable to trust in her inner guidance and wisdom, or God-energy/higher self, than wouldn’t that cause emotional scars.

I’ve just recently worked with a wonderful woman that was delivered in a traumatic way. During her session, it was beautiful to witness the transformation as she forgave herself and her mother. The most profound thing she mentioned to me was that she felt immense saddness for causing that experience for her mother. She was a newborn! Nothing she “did” caused that trauma but she had been carrying that perception her whole life and it was caused by things outside of her control. When we release the heaviness of even our subconscious memories, it ripples through everyone involved during that situation. I gaurentee the mother of this woman feels lighter today because of the work her daughter did a week ago. And my client, who was never aware of how deeply rooted her emotions from her birth were, is completely changed physically, mentally, and spiritually.

For the men on the Earth, even though you won’t physically experience giving birth, you have been birthed by a woman. If you go on to father children of your own in this lifetime, your vibrational state will be passed on to future generations as well. There is healing and work to be done throughout humanity, regardless of gender, because in one way or another birth experiences impact each and everyone of us in this physical plane.

I feel like this is just the tip of the iceberg of what’s about to unravel as we continue forward in this new era of femininity and grace. Being witness to another person’s soul go through moments of healing, heals our own soul too. At the end of the day, all things are connected, there are no coincidences, and when we recognize the causes of pain and suffering within ourselves we can all live happier, healthier, and more hopeful.

My Spirit Babies

To be honest, the past couple of weeks I have been kinda uninspired to write and have just thrown together some thoughts. This week was going the same way until I stumbled acrosses a podcast about Spirit Babies by Maryn Green from Indie Birth. I’m obsessed. Seriously.

In my posts about my pregnancy and birth, I mentioned an inherent knowledge or understanding. I was in direct connection with my guides, Nosh & his guides, and all of our ancestors where with us as well. It was powerful, it was beautiful, it was perfect. When I had Noah, I literally felt his spirit enter into his physical body during labor…that’s the only way I can describe it. His energy was always present during my pregnancy but I never felt like it was coming from the space where I carried his body. When I began to push in the delivery room it was like a scene from a movie. Imagine him on a train leaving the station. Waving and yelling, “I love you! I’ll see you soon mommy. I love you!” And in an instant his energy disappeared. It was not gone but it was within him. As soon as they laid him on my chest all I could say out loud was “Hi. Hi. Hello. Hi”…over and over again. What I was saying internally was, “There you are. I’m so proud of you. I love you.”

Rewind to January 2016 just shortly before our missed miscarriage. As I was looking at the positive home pregnancy test I “heard” a little girl call out to me. At the time I shrugged it off but a few weeks later when I told a friend I was expecting her initial reaction was “IT’S A GIRL!” And I responded with an “I KNOW!” It was a short time later, between 8 & 9 weeks, when we lost that pregnancy so physically there was no indication of gender. But I know without a doubt that was our sweet daughter. If my husband is reading this (yeah right😜) this will be news to him…I named her Elizabeth Jo aka Betsy Jo. My dad would often appear with her prior to the miscarriage so I suppose that’s why when tragedy came I wasn’t as upset. She was already with Papa and I knew she was okay. Her and Noah have the cutest relationship. She hasn’t visited a lot recently, but when she does Noah lights up for no reason. He giggles and shakes like he does when I walk into the room. I know he sees her and I know she will always be there to protect, support, and love our beautiful rainbow baby.

There are other little souls out there that call me momma but I have yet to explore those relationships. It’s neat to get to know them prior to them physically appearing. If you’re pregnant or trying for a child I encourage you to sit in meditation and communicate with their souls. Whatever is meant to be, just know that they are around and they already love you. All you have to do is be happy, healthy, and hopeful.

Clairvoyance, channeling, spiritual gifts, and the like.

Everyone has unique gifts, affinities, and/or traits that align us with our true self. When we act against these innate characteristics that is when issues arise in our lives. Whether it be with our health, financially, romantically, or anything else that can cause pain and distress.

Seeing auras around objects and people was one of the first gifts I remember experiencing. Growing up, I never had the vocabulary to express what I was seeing let alone an understanding outlet who I felt wouldn’t judge or scold me. I was nearly 20 years old when I first learned about reading auras. It was in a massage continuing education class that had nothing to do with auric fields or energy related topics. During one of our breaks, just for fun, our instructor had another student stand at the front of the classroom  against a white wall. Then she had us write down words to describe her. When we shared what we had written everyone had written obvious descriptors…Blonde hair, blue eyes, tall, tired,etc. I wrote down orange. I remember she was wearing a white shirt and black yoga pants so I couldn’t explain why I was seeing so much color around her. Not wanting to sound crazy I withheld my observation until the instructor said, “Did anyone see anything else?” At that point I knew she wanted more than the obvious so I spoke up. She validated I indeed was reading her emotional aura.

Another gift that unfolded for me at an early age is my ability to channel. My previous post about coffee with my father could label me as a medium of sorts. However, I feel like my ability goes much deeper than just communication with energys that once inhabited this physical plane. It’s more of a connection with all energies no matter the origin. When I am locked into the “Source” or “God Energy” (lets not get caught up on terminology) I feel an abundance of emotions and possibilities. Not only does this ability allow me to be a channel for information but it also manifests as clairvoyance. Many friends and family know about my “chingle” AKA my butt cheek tingle. I often get asked random, trivial questions regarding pregnancies, relationships, carreer choices, etc. Up until recently, I indulged in the fact that I’d be spot on and would freely share with whomever was asking. Now I’m more protective of my gift because peoples choices and circumstances are constantly changing. I’ve realized that my chingle about a situation today could be totally different tomorrow due to these fluctuations in action and perception. When I get premonitions I ackowledge them and send gratitude for my ability but I’m much more reserved when sharing with the general public.

I’ve had many instance of feeling odd, strange, or an outsider because of the way I experience life in this realm. Getting picked on for being weird was a constant in my early childhood. I suppressed a lot of who I was just to feel accepted into society. Now, here I am, in my late twenties trying to not bandage over these old emotions but allow them to release and flow. I grow each day because I’m stepping into my own authentic self. I’m learning that who I am is okay because of these gifts and not to be scared of them. By getting reacquainted with myself I am getting happier, healthier, and hopeful.