Mama On A Mission.

So if you know me, you know I am passionate about a lot. The #1 thing that really gets me going is when people are not informed. Doesn’t matter the situation. If you don’t know the how, what, when, where, & most importantly the WHY of something then you are not properly informed. Also, understanding where that information is coming from is key.

Many people have biases based on financial gain, power, blind faith, or for various other reasons. What is the one thing those opinions all have in common? They don’t involve YOU…or what is in your best interest.

What is my difference. I give a shit. I care about people not money, fame, or power. I look at all aspects of a situation and interpret the energy from that. Does it align? Doesn’t it? The WHY is so important because if we continue to do things “because that how we’ve always done it” is damaging. In relation to birth, we have not always labored lying down on our backs….that was common practice once OBGYNs (who originally were men, btw.) started delivering babies because it’s easier/more convenient for them.

We’ve forgotten our natural ability to thrive & survive. It’s easier to relinquish our responsibility to ourselves onto others so we’re not the ones to blame when our health, finances, and happiness trickles down the drain. But I’m here to say, “stop”. Realize your power. We’re all in this life for such a short amount of time and instead of just existing start LIVING. Every day. No excuses.

It may feel scary or intimidating to step into your authentic self, but the freeing aspect of openly expressing yourself is indescribable. For a moment, I want you to think about the children in this World. They look up to us, they aspire to be like us. What kind of life do you want them to experience? One of continual fear & disappointment or a vibrant and colorful life? I know what I will chose for my kids. I hope they grow to be beautiful individuals and take chances. They will only aspire to do that if I teach them & what better way to teach then by example.

We don’t need permission to be ourselves. We just have to remember who we are in the first place & trust that we are made perfectly to handle every situation presented to us.

I’m Tired.

2017

I’m tired of being tired.

I’m tired of not feeling heard.

I’m tired of limiting confidence.

I’m tired of relinquishing my power.

I’m tired of having to justify and explain my actions.

I’m tired of sacrificing joy.

I’m tired of oppression.

I’m tired of disrespect.

I’m tired of inequality.

I’m tired of feeling stress, anxious, or depressed.

Last year was the calm before the storm. It was the quiet space I needed to reflect on what’s important in this lifetime.

Growth only happens after a dormant time. We are always changing, shifting, moving. Evolution is knocking at the door and we must answer or be taken up in the tornado along with the falling matrix. Old mindsets serve only the past. Healing our karmic and ancestral wounds will allow humanity to rise again. Step into the present and declare yourself a warrior.

2018

I will fight to sustain my energy.

I will fight to be heard.

I will fight to gain confidence.

I will fight to increase my power.

I will fight to act in accordance to how I want to act.

I will fight to have joy.

I will fight for freedom.

I will fight to honor others.

I will fight to maintain balance.

I will fight to feel happier, healthier, and hopeful.

Christmas…It’s all about Birth!

So if you’ve read my other posts you’ll realize birth and spirituality are my jam…this past week those two worlds were celebrated simultaneously and that was AWESOME. Christmas has always been my favorite Holiday, not because of gifts, but because of the love and wonder surrounding it. This year though I really began to think about what Jesus’ birth was really like…

1. It was unassisted. Mary had to use her own instincts to birth the soul that Christians follow today. No doctor, no midwife, no pain medications or medical interventions…

2. Unsanitary conditions. I mean what is more dirty than a barn?

3. Afterwards she rested…the Magi/Wise-men didn’t come until sometime after 40 days. Mary’s main focus during Jesus’ first months of life would have been recovering, establishing breastfeeding, and NOT entertaining or parading her infant about.

The first two points really contradict how our current society views childbirth. There is so much fear surrounding birth and all the things that could go wrong. Where I live in the Midwest, home births are not as common as hospital births. Unassisted births would likely raise more than a few eyebrows…how or where a woman chooses to labor & birth should not be controversial or questioned.

When a woman is provided the space to intuitively give birth, she will know when something isn’t right…even if it’s her first labor. If in a medical environment, women can relinquish their power because “the doctors know better”. However, sometimes they don’t and it’s the mother who has to live with the emotional and spiritual consequences. The medical community has not yet connected the relation of postpartum depression to labor/birth disappointment (if you will). Up to 20% of moms experience post part I’m depression in the US and despite being a developed country we have the highest maternal mortality rate…this can’t be a coincidence. When you take a natural occurring event and try to schedule, manage, or intervene it only causes more issues and can be more fatal than letting it run it’s course.

The third point also reflects how skewed our culture is when it comes to postpartum care for women. If you give birth at a hospital, your stay is generally a few days and then you’re sent home. The first follow up is by your OB, 6 weeks after giving birth…uh what? Some women are blessed to have supportive family that help with the housework, let the mother rest, and cook meals. But in reality the majority of women are left to adjust to motherhood, alone. Not only that but if she is a working mother, she may have to return to work within the first month of giving birth just to pay the bills. That makes breastfeeding nearly impossible and can cause her even more emotional and financial stress.

If you still believe that our current birth & postpartum system isn’t broken, then watch out for 2018. Changes are happening and people are realizing they want to live happier, healthier, and hopeful.

Road trip!

This is so fun. I am writing this while sitting in the passenger seat of my husband’s truck! We are headed to his hometown for the weekend to celebrate with a baby shower for his sister & brother in law. (It happens to also be my hubs 29th birthday weekend so I’m positive there will be some celebrating of that as well!)

It’s pitch black, the baby is fussing in the backseat, we hit bumper to bumper traffic and we’re not even on the interstate yet. Now I have hustled all day cleaning, doing laundry, packing, cleaning again. Just to be out of the house is relief in and of itself until I feel it…the anxiety and stress radiating on my left. I look over and you can physically see the anger pouring out of my husband. We finally get past the jam which was due to an accident, of course, and he’s still lingering in this cloud of fumes.

How wonderful is it to witness other people’s perspectives, especially as they reveal themselves. The 5-10 minutes we were delayed I felt a peace a calm. Realizing it was an accident made me want to slow down and not rush because more than likely that’s what those drivers were doing. On the other hand, my husband only viewed it as an inconvenience and unplanned delay. Emotions which consumed him the rest of the trip. Again, what’s the rush?

Day in and day, out time is passing us by. In the end it doesn’t matter how quickly we get there but rather that we traveled at all. Stop and smell the roses. Take a back road that is less traveled. Don’t watch the clock, you’ll only be disappointed. This life should be savored and relished. Roll the windows down, turn the radio up, and drive happier, healthier, and hopeful.

Medical or mindful?

There’s about to be a shift in the way modern medicine is practiced. Currently in the U.S. it is a misogynist institution that, for the most part, cares more about budgets, bottom lines, and profits. Yes, great medical advancements and discoveries have improved our overall well being and longevity of life, but it’s all based out of fear.

Vaccines is a hot topic for many people. On one hand you have the pro-Vaxxer’s that just follow standard protocol and trust that their doctor has their best interest at heart…but do they? Delayed or anti-Vaxxer’s make up the other side to this coin. They are usually viewed as “hippie”, a threat to society, or just plain dumb. But their real argument is that of informed consent. Each individual’s health is not like any other, our own genetic makeup while essentially the same, is unlike any other person’s. So why has our standard of care become a “one size fits all”.

So many people put their trust in physicians to cure them of their ailments. It’s easier to play the victim and put the responsibility on another when in reality it’s up to that individual to decide if they want to be healed. I know of a pharmacist who was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in their late 20s. What seemed like a devastating diagnosis for someone just beginning their career and family turned out to be so much more. When the medical and pharmaceutical routes provided little to no comfort or support they began to look at their health in totally new way…nutrition, exercise, wellness, mindfulness, etc. A few years after the diagnosis, they received astonishing news that their MRI came back with no evidence of MS. The doctor couldn’t explain this miracle, there is no known cure for MS so how could this be?

Another example is cancer. Why do some people die from it and others go into remission? On the surface most people would admit the goal is to get better but there is other factors than just medical treatment. I’m talking soul contracts, cellular memory, believing that you DESERVE to get well…the list can go on but you get the hint. Individualized care is needed in order to make any change in our wellness and it shouldn’t be up to someone to make treatment decisions for you. Get to know your body and you will see the paths that it will respond to…enough of this “one size fits all” mentality.

Just like any healing profession when used in conjunction with other modalities our issues can be resolved in totality. However, in this western society, the majority of people assume allopathic medicine holds the answer to their ailments. We must start step inside ourselves and take responsibility for our own health and well being. Let’s stop putting it in other’s hands so we can begin to live healthier, happier, and hopeful.

Intention, Manifestation & Motherhood.

I have been working on three drafts about intention and manifestation but none of them have felt complete. I realized yesterday that the reason was due to lack of personalization. It was just regurgitated words I have read throughout my journey which are completely applicable but not always relatable. So, with very little editing (as always), here is a compilation of some overstated tidbits mixed with a little reality…

Have you ever met someone who attracts anything they want? It’s almost as if life is magically opening for them while others can’t seem to get the child proof lid off.

Would you believe that anyone can attain that level of manifestation in their own life?! For some it will unfold easily…For others it will take a lot of work & persistence. The roads are never the same and there may be some ‘ugly’ to break through but it’s worth it.

“Love the life you have while you create the life of your dreams.” – Hal Elrod

Energy can not be created or destroyed. It can’t be manipulated and influenced…it is neutral…what gives it a positive or negative vibe is perception. Thought has been scientifically proven to be an energetic process. So when we perceive positively, the same will be brought to us. It’s more than just thinking, however, it must also be a belief that you deserve these good things to happen.

“What you think, you become. What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you create.” -Buddha

Personally, I am naturally positive and manifest things very easily. That’s how I knew my pregnancy and labor would be pleasant…but what else led me to that assumption? Conversations. By talking with my mom, sister, and even my mother-in-law, I shaped my perception of birth around their experiences. Their recollection of their experiences, while all unique, had a similar message.

Empowerment.

By sharing their truths about their experiences, they could confidently inform me of the good, the bad, and the ugly. It was very relieving to be supported by such strong and determined women but I realize that’s not the norm in our western culture. There is so much fear and uncertainty and women have stopped sharing their knowledge.

In most of the mom’s groups I follow on Facebook there are posts, almost daily, about “my sister said I would be stupid not to get an epidural” or “my mom said her labor with me was by far the worst in comparison to my siblings”. In most cases the post is flooded with positive affirmations and encouragement but the damage is already done. That expecting woman already has a string of belief that her labor will be unimaginably painful and difficult because the belief of people closest to us hold more weight than strangers.

While some women have the mental capacity to break through patterns of negative self-talk many can not, especially while child bearing and child rearing. That’s not to say we shouldn’t alter our experiences or sugar coat what to expect but rather change the tone of conversations from accusations and blame to ones of non judgement and celebration.

“Imagine what might happen if women emerged from their labor beds with a renewed sense of strength and power of their bodies, and of their capacity for ecstasy through giving birth.” -Dr. Christiane Northrup

When women step into the role of mother, a sisterhood forms. It’s a bond like no other. We should be embracing each other instead of undermining our self-worth. We are brave, strong, feminine, and most of all happy, healthy, and hopeful.

All Hallows' Eve Channel

So I skipped my posting last week because of many physical ailments (migraines, sinus, cough, etc.) Which ended up being a clearing for the crazy channels I’ve been able to receive right around Halloween. Since the veil is at the thinnest it allows for spirit/God/Higher self to more easily communicate with us on the physical plane. There has been a lot of confusion, not just for me, but universally recently and the clarity received it astounding. Here are some excerpts of the channels I’ve had…

October 31st, 2017

As you’ve know for a while the veil is lifting. Evolutionary step for human-kind is to step into our dimension. Join us. So much preparation being done. You’re getting tired, burnt out, unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Do not despair. Others are rapidly joining to share the burden. Just keep swimming. We’re just as exhausted as you. Have faith and this will NOT fail. It’s long over due.

“What else can we do?”

Go out. Be seen. Be heard. Spread your truths. Don’t only surround yourself with like minded souls. Yes, it’s comfortable but limits growth. Be open minded. Try new things. Speak in a way that you don’t recognize. Change verbiage to meet the recipient. Don’t hold back. Make waves. SHOUT!

“Is there a deadline or timeline?”

When & how is on us. Meet each encounter, exchange, and moment with your best intentions. Lose assumptions. Focus on the healing of the Earth and all other aspects will fall into place. Lots of healing left to be done. BALANCE!

It’s blind faith in God that makes this movement stronger. Do not question, have unfaltering belief in the wonders and powers that awaits each soul on the other side. There is no “death” only a continuation and elevation of existence. TRUST.
Good stuff…And so much more is available if we just listen with our new “self”. The concept of a veil dividing realms is maybe not what we assumed it to be. A recent discussion with a friend offered an alternative insight to how I view the other side. What if the “thinning of the veil” has nothing to do with specific dates or time but more to do with the amount of people’s belief. Some people learn that their belief in Santa is what helps make his sleigh fly (Thanks “elf”). What if it’s the same for the veil? Is it “thinner” on All Hallows’ Eve, All Saints Day, and All Souls Day because we BELIEVE it is? Is it within our capacity to do away with it all together…something to chew on. 

Thanks for reading and hopefully this message finds you happier, healthier, and hopeful!

True Nature of Health

Disclaimer: I had another topic I was working on this week but this kept coming up in my conversations recently so I HAVE to share. This will probably be unedited so apologies for the grammar police out there!

Part A. 

I’m a firm believer that our mental state influences our physical body. When our health is failing, it’s because we allow it to…consciously or unconsciously. No one wants to take ownership in the fact they caused their ailments but it’s true. 

“What we think, we become.” -Buddha

For the past 6ish weeks I’ve been battling with on and off again plugged ducts from breastfeeding my son. Initially I tried explaining why they were happening because of a suspected tounge/lip tie or improper latch. Either one of these conditions could very well contribute to the situation but it wasn’t until I started addressing myself that I began to feel some relief.

Louise Hay wrote a fantastic book called “You Can Heal Your Life” (“Heal Your Body” is a condensed version with the metaphysical ways to overcome illness) and I refer to it often within my personal life as well as professional. Here is what she attribute breast issues to…

Condition: Breast Problems (Cysts, Lumps, Soreness, Mastitis, etc.)

Probable Cause: A refusal to nourish the self. Putting everyone else first. Overmothering. Overprotection. Overbearing attitude.

New thought Pattern: I am important. I count. I now care for and nourish myself with love and with joy. I allow others the freedom to be who they are. We are all safe and free.

DING! I have been struggling with these certain attributes in my life. Taking time to focus on my needs really helped balance this and guess what…My plugged ducts went away!

What a cool way to approach our health. Instead of only addressing the physical symptoms that present themselves, take responsibility for the underlying cause. Our mental, physical, and spiritual bodies are all in checks and balances with one another. If there is discord in one of the bodies then there must be discord in the others as well. Hmmm…interesting…

Part B.

When was the last time you were in unconditional service to another human? Truly in a place with no judgement or expectation.  As a healer, it’s in my nature to easily integrate this concept into daily interactions but it also allows me to witness the selfish tendencies of others. It’s also shocking to realize that those who are in a “service” roll for others and are truly not in service of that particular individual. Corporate agendas, monetary compensation, quotas, and so much more can influence one’s ability to honestly and openly serve another.

This automatically makes me think of the current western medical community…I mean doctors are often referred to as “service providers” but who are they actually serving? Now, I am making some generalizations and I am not anti-western medicine. I have met some doctors/nurses/staff that genuinely think the overwhelming number of patients dissatisfied with their medical stories speaks volumes. Everyone wants to feel heard, especially when it comes to their health, but increasingly this is not the case. 

I was just visiting with a friend who just recently welcomed her first child in a hospital setting. As she was sharing her birth experience she kept mentioning that certain healthcare professionals were not listening to her during her labor process. She felt intimidated and scared because of their lack of empathy, or more so, their judgement of “I know better because I see this everyday…” It echoed with much of the dissatisfaction I experienced in my own hospital birth. This breaks my heart as a woman, a healer, and as a human. When did experience suddenly trump the present moment? When did we stop listening to laboring mothers because “science knows better”?

In conclusion…

Any pain, illness, or disease ultimately is manifested by our own will (conscious or not). Western medicine has removed the personal aspect of their service. Therefore it is up to us to advocate for ourselves, stand firm in our beliefs, and take responsibility for the quality of care we deserve. By making informed and educated decisions, we will all live happier, healthier, and hopefully hopeful:)

Healing Birth Trauma

As a doula, I have often heard the saying “I love my baby. But I don’t love how they got here.” No new mother needs that regret, disappointment, or heartbreak on her plate. But how can we mend this? It begin with us. Every being has the capacity and inner knowledge to start the healing process.

Unfortunately there is no magical way to dictate how any pregnancy or birth will progress. But what if there was a way to a change the memory of the events that actually unfolded. Or rather the emotion behind the memory. The repair can start immediately following, or even before, the trauma instead of being stored within our cellular memories only to cause chaos later on in a persons life. Everything we experience is correlated and not by random chance. The situations we face today impact our perceptions of future events and therefore places our lives on habitual paths. 

For a woman going through a traumatic birth experience we can empathize. However, because she is able to cognitively recollect and verbalized her emotions we tend to forget that it is just as traumatic (if not more so) for the newborn. These ripples of fear, shock, and pain settle into our bodies from the start. 

What do I mean by trauma…it’s not solely about physical pain or difficulties. It includes all aspects of human existence. There can be emotional blocks that stall the progress of labor which then can lead to other interventions causing physical trauma like Pitocin, epidural, forceps/vacuum, cesarean, etc. But can’t spiritual blocks also inhibit the perception of birth? If a woman is unable to trust in her inner guidance and wisdom, or God-energy/higher self, than wouldn’t that cause emotional scars.

I’ve just recently worked with a wonderful woman that was delivered in a traumatic way. During her session, it was beautiful to witness the transformation as she forgave herself and her mother. The most profound thing she mentioned to me was that she felt immense saddness for causing that experience for her mother. She was a newborn! Nothing she “did” caused that trauma but she had been carrying that perception her whole life and it was caused by things outside of her control. When we release the heaviness of even our subconscious memories, it ripples through everyone involved during that situation. I gaurentee the mother of this woman feels lighter today because of the work her daughter did a week ago. And my client, who was never aware of how deeply rooted her emotions from her birth were, is completely changed physically, mentally, and spiritually.

For the men on the Earth, even though you won’t physically experience giving birth, you have been birthed by a woman. If you go on to father children of your own in this lifetime, your vibrational state will be passed on to future generations as well. There is healing and work to be done throughout humanity, regardless of gender, because in one way or another birth experiences impact each and everyone of us in this physical plane.

I feel like this is just the tip of the iceberg of what’s about to unravel as we continue forward in this new era of femininity and grace. Being witness to another person’s soul go through moments of healing, heals our own soul too. At the end of the day, all things are connected, there are no coincidences, and when we recognize the causes of pain and suffering within ourselves we can all live happier, healthier, and more hopeful.

My Spirit Babies

To be honest, the past couple of weeks I have been kinda uninspired to write and have just thrown together some thoughts. This week was going the same way until I stumbled acrosses a podcast about Spirit Babies by Maryn Green from Indie Birth. I’m obsessed. Seriously.

In my posts about my pregnancy and birth, I mentioned an inherent knowledge or understanding. I was in direct connection with my guides, Nosh & his guides, and all of our ancestors where with us as well. It was powerful, it was beautiful, it was perfect. When I had Noah, I literally felt his spirit enter into his physical body during labor…that’s the only way I can describe it. His energy was always present during my pregnancy but I never felt like it was coming from the space where I carried his body. When I began to push in the delivery room it was like a scene from a movie. Imagine him on a train leaving the station. Waving and yelling, “I love you! I’ll see you soon mommy. I love you!” And in an instant his energy disappeared. It was not gone but it was within him. As soon as they laid him on my chest all I could say out loud was “Hi. Hi. Hello. Hi”…over and over again. What I was saying internally was, “There you are. I’m so proud of you. I love you.”

Rewind to January 2016 just shortly before our missed miscarriage. As I was looking at the positive home pregnancy test I “heard” a little girl call out to me. At the time I shrugged it off but a few weeks later when I told a friend I was expecting her initial reaction was “IT’S A GIRL!” And I responded with an “I KNOW!” It was a short time later, between 8 & 9 weeks, when we lost that pregnancy so physically there was no indication of gender. But I know without a doubt that was our sweet daughter. If my husband is reading this (yeah right😜) this will be news to him…I named her Elizabeth Jo aka Betsy Jo. My dad would often appear with her prior to the miscarriage so I suppose that’s why when tragedy came I wasn’t as upset. She was already with Papa and I knew she was okay. Her and Noah have the cutest relationship. She hasn’t visited a lot recently, but when she does Noah lights up for no reason. He giggles and shakes like he does when I walk into the room. I know he sees her and I know she will always be there to protect, support, and love our beautiful rainbow baby.

There are other little souls out there that call me momma but I have yet to explore those relationships. It’s neat to get to know them prior to them physically appearing. If you’re pregnant or trying for a child I encourage you to sit in meditation and communicate with their souls. Whatever is meant to be, just know that they are around and they already love you. All you have to do is be happy, healthy, and hopeful.