To be honest, the past couple of weeks I have been kinda uninspired to write and have just thrown together some thoughts. This week was going the same way until I stumbled acrosses a podcast about Spirit Babies by Maryn Green from Indie Birth. I’m obsessed. Seriously.
In my posts about my pregnancy and birth, I mentioned an inherent knowledge or understanding. I was in direct connection with my guides, Nosh & his guides, and all of our ancestors where with us as well. It was powerful, it was beautiful, it was perfect. When I had Noah, I literally felt his spirit enter into his physical body during labor…that’s the only way I can describe it. His energy was always present during my pregnancy but I never felt like it was coming from the space where I carried his body. When I began to push in the delivery room it was like a scene from a movie. Imagine him on a train leaving the station. Waving and yelling, “I love you! I’ll see you soon mommy. I love you!” And in an instant his energy disappeared. It was not gone but it was within him. As soon as they laid him on my chest all I could say out loud was “Hi. Hi. Hello. Hi”…over and over again. What I was saying internally was, “There you are. I’m so proud of you. I love you.”
Rewind to January 2016 just shortly before our missed miscarriage. As I was looking at the positive home pregnancy test I “heard” a little girl call out to me. At the time I shrugged it off but a few weeks later when I told a friend I was expecting her initial reaction was “IT’S A GIRL!” And I responded with an “I KNOW!” It was a short time later, between 8 & 9 weeks, when we lost that pregnancy so physically there was no indication of gender. But I know without a doubt that was our sweet daughter. If my husband is reading this (yeah right😜) this will be news to him…I named her Elizabeth Jo aka Betsy Jo. My dad would often appear with her prior to the miscarriage so I suppose that’s why when tragedy came I wasn’t as upset. She was already with Papa and I knew she was okay. Her and Noah have the cutest relationship. She hasn’t visited a lot recently, but when she does Noah lights up for no reason. He giggles and shakes like he does when I walk into the room. I know he sees her and I know she will always be there to protect, support, and love our beautiful rainbow baby.
There are other little souls out there that call me momma but I have yet to explore those relationships. It’s neat to get to know them prior to them physically appearing. If you’re pregnant or trying for a child I encourage you to sit in meditation and communicate with their souls. Whatever is meant to be, just know that they are around and they already love you. All you have to do is be happy, healthy, and hopeful.